Ailments
by MiladyGirl
Summary: Reuniting after the Winter Holidays, the team members are conflicted with various ailments... some more pleasant than others. Oneshot.


Blake was half-asleep in the bullpen, holding a cup of hot coffee in a loose two-handed grip, and her entire appearance was messy. It couldn't be described as anything else, and it was a stark contrast to her usual very composed looks.

"I thought everyone would return fresh and rested after the holidays," JJ remarked, making Blake jump at the sound of her voice. "You look anything but."

"Yeah, I know," Blake muttered and took a deep sip from her coffee. "I spent Christmas with my brother and his family." She turned to cough in the crook of her arm. JJ noted that the usual blazers had been switched for a knitted wool sweater. Proper enough for office, sure, but far from Blake's normal choice of work outfit. This looked like her version of comfy clothes. "He has a five-year-old, Amanda, and she is worshipping Elsa, the Snow Queen. So we have spent half the days watching _Frozen_ … over, and over, and over… and half the days outside in the snow re-enacting the movie. Who needs to go to the gym when you can play with a five-year-old who has an unlimited supply of energy, right?"

"Tell me about it," JJ said and rolled her eyes.

"And, naturally, being cold and wet and climbed on by toddlers, also known as natural incubators of germs…"

JJ knew where this was going, and she laughed a little. It wasn't funny per say, of course not, but she was so used to the cycle of the day-care plagues she tended to forget that it wasn't the everyday life for everyone. Blake, being a mother of no one, was hilariously unequipped to handle this sudden taste of life with kids. She almost looked like she considered it an insult, having been conquered by a simple virus.

"I'm just about over it now, but two days ago I seriously considered writing down my will."

"I wouldn't have taken you for the whiny type," JJ said.

"Let's just say James refers to the widely known concept of 'man flu' as 'Alex flu'. He insists he's never had a patient as annoying as I am."

JJ managed to hold her tongue and avoid teasing her. Blake would never know how much effort it took.

"So, should you be here today?" JJ asked as the urge to tease her had passed, and sat down. "Hotch took two days extra to go to New York, so I don't expect it to be crunch time just yet."

"Exactly," Blake said and sipped her coffee. "Which means I can finish up on some paperwork in peace and quiet, without being interrupted by a case." She yawned. "Ugh. Deep inside, I just want to down a bottle of cold meds and sleep it off."

JJ laughed and shook her head.

"If there's one thing I've learned you can count on over the holidays when you have kids, is that you _will_ get sick. You're lucky you just caught a cold."

" _Lucky_?" Blake echoed, sounding sceptical. "I feel like crap."

"Henry got the stomach bug the day before Christmas," JJ said pointedly. Blake cringed.

"Alright, that's worse. I'm sorry."

"At least it didn't last long, but you know… it's been three days since I had it, and I still feel weak and a bit lightheaded if I stand up too quickly. Still don't want to eat anything I have to chew."

"I couldn't have told just from looking at you," Blake said. "You look as fresh as ever."

"So do you," JJ lied. Blake held up her hand as to ward off the well-meant reassurance.

"No need to start lying now, I do have access to mirrors," she said. "I hope your Christmas didn't get completely ruined, though."

"We got through Christmas Day with a very tired kid, but he was pretty much over the worst by then. And then Will and I got to be sick in peace for a couple of days while he was occupied with his new toys and leftover Christmas food. So, it could've been much worse."

Blake looked over her shoulder.

"Oh look, here comes Worse…"

"Hey guys," Morgan grunted and sat down. "Man, I haven't been this hungover in years."

"You party the evening before work starts?" Blake said. "Don't expect any sympathy from me."

"You are a cruel woman, Blake," Morgan groaned and held his head with both hands. "But I wasn't partying, it just got a bit too late and a bit too much…"

"Yeah, I've heard that excuse bef-" Blake began, when she saw Garcia shuffle into the bullpen and head straight for the coffeemaker. Her eyes narrowed. Garcia wasn't much of a coffee-drinker. She exchanged a quick look with JJ, and the younger woman – who had somewhat more reliable voice resources at the moment – raised her voice and called out;

"Hey Penelope, you alright?"

Morgan groaned again, and Garcia actually whimpered out loud.

"Please, not so loud," she pleaded. "I'm so hungover."

JJ looked at Blake again, and they both had to try hard not to laugh. The implications were written all over both Morgan and Garcia.

"So, Santa gave you what you wished for?" Blake asked inconspicuously. Garcia sent Morgan a quick glance, and her pained features softened into a sincere smile.

"Something like that, my nosy friends." She let a hand possessively brush against Morgan's shoulder. "Something like that. Santa came early this year."

Morgan gave her a harsh glare, but Garcia only smiled at him until the frown smoothed out on his face and turned into something that looked decidedly lovey-dovey. Blake and JJ looked away, at once awkward and amused.

"There, there," Garcia said and gave Morgan an airy cheek kiss. "You might get to open another present tonight if you're a good boy, but you have to wait until after work."

"You are _so lucky_ Hotch isn't here," JJ said, shaking her head. Blake nodded in agreement.

"You're just jealous," Morgan said as Garcia left the bullpen, and now there was one part manly smugness mixed into his voice.

JJ rolled her eyes and didn't reply.

* * *

About ten minutes later, Rossi arrived, on crutches.

"Don't ask," he muttered upon receiving the surprised, concerned looks from his colleagues, then immediately proceeded to tell them all about his skiing vacation in Aspen, why snowboards should be banned worldwide, and why he would _never_ go on vacation again.

"She must have been pretty persuasive," Blake mused when he was finished ranting.

"Nobody persuaded me, it was a bet gone awry."

"Ah." She almost didn't say it, but she simply couldn't leave it alone. Nothing like a bit of schadenfraude to make you feel better. "You didn't know Erin used to be an avid snowboarder, did you?"

"Not until that bet," Rossi replied grumpily.

"Well aren't we one sad bunch," JJ said. "Good thing Hotch isn't here to see us."

"Where's Reid?" Blake asked. "Anyone heard from him?"

"Given that he's usually the one that everything happens to, he'd have to be in the hospital if he's going to beat this pathetic bunch," Morgan said.

"Don't say things like that," Blake shuddered, but right at that moment Reid came inside the bullpen, with so much spring in his step it was as if his feet didn't even touch the ground.

"Hi guys," he said, wearing the most suspiciously wide grin on his face. "How was Christmas?" He looked from one to the other. "Wait, never mind, I already know. Hungover, recovering from stomach bug, recovering from cold, injured ankle."

"Impressive, what tipped you off?" Rossi asked in a sarcastic tone. Reid, who wasn't very skilled at picking up on sarcasm on his best day and with his head in the clouds was even less so, didn't think twice before replying.

"Well, in your case Rossi, the bandaged foot and the crutches are pretty obvious. JJ, you only drink those extra-vitamin drinks when you're not yet feeling ready for solid foods. Morgan only takes Tylenol when he's hungover, any other pain he goes with Aspirin, and I spoke to Blake on the phone a couple of days ago."

"Note how he doesn't say he spoke _with_ me," Blake said and tossed a cough drop into her mouth.

"Actually she had to text me her reply because she couldn't talk at all," Reid explained. "You sound much better today, but you _look_ awful."

Blake waved it off as if she hadn't been the embodiment of the expression 'woe is me' a mere minute ago.

"Never mind, I'm better now. I'm more interested in finding out what's gotten you this giddy. I sort of want to ask if you've been up to something no good, but I don't have to. It's written all over your face."

"You mean he didn't tell you if he talked to you on the phone?" JJ said.

"You think he would?" Blake replied and gestured to the youngest team member. "Look at that grin. Does that look like a grin of someone who'd tell you in advance if they're up to something naughty?"

"No. You're right."

Reid's smug grin only got wider and smugger.

"I am not going to tell you anything," he said and poured a splash of coffee into several spoonfuls of sugar, sipped the sweet brew, and looked more content than any of them had ever seen him before. "You're very good profilers, do your job and make a profile."

"I profile severe sugar addiction," JJ said.

"And caffeine addiction," Rossi added.

Morgan started to look a bit more present at the possibility of teasing Reid, but the younger man seemed to be immune to anything of that sort at the moment.

"Hardly news," he said, pulled out a chair and sat down.

Blake had a pretty good idea what his uplifted mood was about, but she also knew that the rest of the team were unaware – well, they _guessed_ , but never got it confirmed – that he had a girlfriend, so she didn't want to ask him openly and risk revealing his secret unless he wanted it revealed.

Given the silly look on his face, he did, but he'd have to say it himself, she wasn't going to do it for him. He looked straight at her when he said;

"Maeve and I finally met. The police found her stalker – it was a woman, by the way – and her life is getting back to normal again. So yeah," he turned to Morgan, and his grin was so wide it looked like it would split his head in two, "I guess you can say the rumours are true: Pretty Boy _does_ have a girlfriend!"

Watching the new spark in Reid's eyes, Blake decided that schadenfraude was nowhere near as good a medicine as feeling happy for someone else was.

* * *

 **A/N**

I know the show never mentioned Blake's brother having a family, but it made sense since he'd be about the right age, plus it worked for me. :D While I have serious issues picturing Blake as a mother, there is something oddly appealing with the image of her being an aunt. LOL

Also, note how smoothly (or, well, the exact opposite actually) I put the pairings together. Subtle? Nah, this is fanfiction.

Seriously though, I wrote this as a pastime during my five-hour visit at the E.R last week. I probably should have put my on-site experience to use in yet another instalment of my series with sex sending Blake and Strauss to the E.R, but honestly, I was too scared to joke around at the time, so it turned into an odd mix of 'woe is me', with some comfort and a splash of a happy ending as well. Found the writing pad in my bag today and decided to type it into Word and post it. So, here we are. :)


End file.
